Introduction

 

Parental alienation can be described as a situation where one parent influences the child to have a negative attitude towards the other parent. This is common in cases where the parents are bitter and fighting each other for custody rights and often take it out on the child. Parental alienation can have serious effects on the child as well as on the relationship between the child and the target parent.

 

Characteristics of High-Conflict Divorces

 

Adversarial divorces are those that are hostile, conflict ridden, and characterized by low levels of cooperation between parents parental alienation. Some characteristics include:

 

Frequent Arguments and Disagreements

 

They engage in verbal battles regarding child support, access, and distribution of property among other related matters. They have problems even with basic issues such as access to the children.

 

False Allegations Against Each Other

 

Either or both parents file allegations of abuse, neglect, substance abuse problems without substantiation. This is one of the manipulative tactics that people employ when they are arguing.

 

Tendency to Escalate Conflict

 

Petty arguments arouse an exaggerated response and efforts to punish instead of settling a conflict. Parents become spiteful to one another.

 

Use of Child as Pawn

 

Parents seek to alienate the child against the other parents in order to display their anger and hostility towards the other party. The child becomes an unwilling participant in the parents’ conflict.

 

Lack of Cooperation and Compromise

 

Parents fail to compromise, refrain from agreeing to share parenting responsibilities, or avoid conflict. It is mostly a one-way communication with most messages passing through lawyers and not direct talks.

 

Signs of Parental Alienation

 

There are some clear signs when one parent is trying to alienate the child from the other parent:There are some clear signs when one parent is trying to alienate the child from the other parent:

 

Badmouthing and Belittling Other Parent

 

The alienating parent will make the other parent out to be a bad, worthless, undeserving, and an irresponsible parent in the presence of the child.

 

Limiting/Denying Contact Between Child and Other Parent

 

An alienating parent will deny access or otherwise interfere with the other parent’s time with the child, perhaps by scheduling something else for the child during the other parent’s time.

 

Forcing Child to Choose Sides

 

The alienating parents will pressure the child into a position of making a clear cut allegiance and repudiating the other parents with threats.

 

Creating the Impression Other Parent is Dangerous

 

The alienating parent engages in deceit and/or distortion to convince the child that it is unsafe for them to have anything to do with the other parent.

 

Discouraging Showing Love or Affection for Other Parent

 

The child is often pressured, embarrassed, or punished for having any positive feelings or affection towards the alienated parent.

 

Erasing Other Parent from Child’s Life

 

Alienating parents will either take out all the items associated with the other parents, will have special occasions without the other parent, and rewrite history by erasing the other parent.

 

The Effects of Parental Alienation on Children

 

Parental alienation leaves deep psychological wounds on children, with both short-term and long-term damage:Parental alienation leaves deep psychological wounds on children, with both short-term and long-term damage:

 

Loss of Self Esteem and Confidence

 

It becomes crucial for children to adopt the negative thoughts about themselves and the parent who is being rejected. Their self-image deteriorates.

 

Trust Issues and Insecurity

 

The child is left with no trust in other significant individuals in the child’s life due to the fear of being used again.

 

Anxiety, Depression and Other Mental Health Issues

 

The heightened pressure, betrayal of trust, loss of parents also affects the emotional health of a child in a negative way.

 

Feelings of Guilt and Shame

 

Even when forced, children experience guilt for abandoning one parent to be with another. They are embarrassed over being rude to a caring parent.

 

Weakened Parent-Child Bonds

 

The connection to the alienated parent is impaired which can lead to severance in some cases. It also impacts their ability to foster good relationships with other people.

 

Poor Conflict Resolution Skills

 

Conflict resolution is not taught effectively, and children only act out aggressively, act passively aggressively, or avoid confrontation when faced with a conflict.

 

Best Practices for Co-Parenting

 

There are some guidelines both parents should follow to avoid conflicts and alienation after a split:There are some guidelines both parents should follow to avoid conflicts and alienation after a split:

 

Don’t Badmouth Each Other

 

Parents should never use abusive language, complain, or make fun of each other or other people, including children. Never utter a word that vies for the child’s affection or allegiance.

 

Communicate Directly

 

Many things can be settled through meetings, with an intermediary if the situation calls for it, so one does not end up in an unpleasant trial.

 

Craft Parenting Agreements

 

Prepare and/or review clear and balanced legal documents that pertain to custody and visitation, visitation timetables during holidays and vacations and all other concerns related to costs etc.

 

Allow Child Relationship with Other Parent

 

Visitation should be allowed and encouraged, unless the child’s safety is at risk, in order to help the child develop close relationships with the other parents and other family members.

 

Get Counseling if Needed

 

If the levels of stress are too high, then you may want to consult a marriage counselor – as for individual counseling or couples.

 

Focus on Child’s Wellbeing

 

Carefully consider all the important choices not for the purpose of anger towards the former spouse but because it will provide safety for the child.

 

Conclusion

 

Parental alienation occurs as a result of unfavorable patterns of communications and conflicts in divorced parents. It can be avoided if parents understand how to communicate properly, share the responsibilities of raising children, stop arguing and instead think about the welfare of the kids. If there is some desire and understanding from two former partners, it is possible to co-parent effectively even after the severest of splits.